My Nephew, Benzi Chroman

by Mordecai Alexander

He will never become a statistic to his family.


There is no greater pain than the loss of a child.

Our family cannot fathom the pain and sorrow of my brother-in-law, Chaim Ber, his wife Elka, and the nine married siblings of Benzi. There are no words we can find in our hearts to comfort them.

When we read and hear about terrorist attacks against our Jewish brothers and sisters - whether it be in
He was chosen - along with the other kedoshim - as a kapara for our entire Jewish nation.
Jerusalem or Tel Aviv, London or Mumbai - our pain and sorrow are usually short-lived, often not lasting the day. Although we are Torah Jews and we know these are not random acts of fate, but messages from HaShem, most of us just continue with our daily lives. The hundreds of names of victims of terror are no longer actual brutally murdered children or grandchildren, but become grim statistics that molder in newspaper archives and Internet memory banks.

Benzi will never become a statistic to his wife and children, his parents or his siblings. For reasons beyond our microscopic understanding, he was chosen - along with the other kedoshim - as a kapara for our entire Jewish nation. Yet, none of this will comfort my brother-in-law and his wife, who bury their child but can never bury their pain.

There is much talk in the religious media and on the Internet about the need for unity and peace among all Jews worldwide. There is a slowly emerging universal awakening about the unacceptably high price of machloket and sinat chinam among Jews - not only between different groups of Jews, but even in the midst of religious Jews in the same community, and sometimes on the same block.

The horrors of Mumbai, the terrible carnage inflicted on our Jewish brothers and sisters by Muslim animals disguised as humans, cannot hold the world’s attention more than a few days at most. The world will move on and most of us will continue with our daily routine of life, perhaps less secure in our world, praying that our governments will be able to stop the next terrorist attack and prevent more bloodshed.
The pain will never go away.

But Benzi is gone forever, and the pain of his father and mother will never go away. We grieve with them, and all of Israel will share their sorrow and express their sympathy; yet most of us will move on with our lives. Chaim Ber and Elka, the parents of Benzi, will never forget and never stop feeling the pain of a lost child.

They will be comforted by the outpour of worldwide support of Klal Yisrael, and will arise from their period of mourning and see much nachas from Benzi’s three children and their other precious grandchildren. HaShem will give them the strength to find meaning for their loss and perhaps eventually help others in their sorrow.

But the pain will never go away.

Titnachamu min hashamayim.

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